What’s old is new again, and with the news that Masters of the Universe fans can expect not one, but two new animated series to fight for their love; like two halves of the Power sword, there’s certainly no lack of a buzz around what to expect from He-Man, Skeletor and the rest of the Eternia crew in the near future. Not only can fans look forward to seeing how the shows play themselves out, but undoubtedly there should be toys as well for us to turn our collectors gaze toward.
While I do my best to keep my gaze trained to the future, I’m also a sucker for nostalgia. I’ve already written a listicle highlighting my favorite MOTU toys that I had in my collection as a kid, but let’s flip the script and look at those amazing toys that stayed just out of my reach. From fearless fighters to warrior babes roaming the terrain of Eternia, here are 11 MOTU toys that had the power to make their way into my collection, but weren’t quite able to storm the halls of Castle Grayskull.
I was always sort of on the fence with Orko. I certainly didn’t hate him, but I never really loved him either. That said, I’ll take him over Gwildor any day. In fact, I’ll take a good many things over that trash heap of a live action movie that us kids got in the eighties.
But, while Orko’s personality was a take it or leave it for me, I definitely thought he looked cool, a levitating, face shrouded warlock. There’s a comic and toy shop in the south end of Calgary that has him for sale, so just like magic he should be appearing on my shelf soon.
10) Snout Spout
I actually want to say I owned Snout Spout, but I’m not certain. He may have been a toy in one of my cousin’s collections, this is the problem with being 40, the memory starts to slip.
Whether I owned him or not, what’s not to get excited for with a figure with the head of an elephant that squirts water at its enemies? Snout Spout matched up against Kobra Khan (who I do own, minus his head oddly enough) would’ve made for some wet and wild fun.
I have absolutely no problem playing with or owning girls toys as well as a girl toy in the case of our fearless warrior Teela here.
Teela was also a part of my cousin’s collection, and every time I went over to her house to play, I’d always find any opportunity I could to include Teela in my adventures, even though I actually dug She-Ra and an entry later in this list even more. That headdress and staff that she came packaged with were super rad.
He-Man, He-Man, He-Man!
I had so many He-Man figures, from Battle Armor to Thunder Punch to Flying Fists, but how cool would it have been to essentially have the mirror universe He-Man? The Bizarro to He-Man’s Superman.
Sure, you can argue it’s a cheap cop out to take an existing figure and repaint it blue and give it orange armor and weapons, but kid me didn’t care and adult me couldn’t care less either, Faker belongs in my collection.
As far as the core set of figures are concerned, you’d think it would’ve been a lock to have this guy growing up, but I could never find him at any of my local department stores. Growing up a small town nerd, I scoured flea markets and yard sales and Man-at-Arms still managed to escape me.
Until one Sunday afternoon, I did come across him at the weekly flea market at the mall for $10…except he was missing an arm and was beat all to hell.
I’m not saying I need everything to be in mint or pristine condition, but $10?! And he’s missing an arm?! I don’t remember if I laughed at the guy trying to sell him or not, but I sure wasn’t laughing on the inside.
Evil will always win because good is dumb.
Alright, so that’s a Spaceballs quote, no doubt, but evil will always win with me whether it’s Decepticons, Renegades or the villains of the MOTU universe, the bad guys were always just a little cooler, and for as much as I dug Teela there’s no comparison standing next to Evil-Lyn.
Teela was cool, She-Ra was even cooler. But, something about Evil-Lyn struck a chord with me. Was it the name, Evil-Lyn and the way it sounded when spoken aloud? Was it her overall aesthetic and appearance, evoking comparisons to Kitiara from the Dragonlance novels I loved so much?
Comparing her to Kitiara is a bit of a stretch, but the delightfully sinister contrast to Teela and She-Ra is what earns Evil-Lyn her ranking on this listicle.
I’ve always been a tinkerer for better or worse.
I’ve always enjoyed taking something apart to see how it works and then put it back together. Using my imagination this sometimes applied to my toys as well, like the time I removed my G1 Jetfire’s leg then lost the screw and couldn’t get it back on again properly. I still beat myself up about that to this day.
But, give me a toy whose main purpose is to be taken apart and slapped back together any way you want? That sounds like a party to me, and Modulok was always someone I was drawn to. He looked gnarly. He looked fun and he looked like he should’ve been mine, but never was.
I had an irrational hatred of Hawkman as a kid. I have no idea why exactly, something about Hawkman just rubbed me wrong, whether I thought he just looked dopey or lame, it got to the point that I had my Joker action figure kill Hawkman by ripping his wings off in a rare case of me destroying a toy.
Hindsight and all that, I was 7, and understanding things like Mint Loose Complete or MISB were the furthest things from my mind at the time.
However, I didn’t hate Stratos, and I definitely didn’t think he looked dopey or lame. Stratos was majestic and badass, a gorgeous toy that I have never stopped pining for from the sculpt to the paint, Stratos continues to fly high on my wish list of figures that absolutely need to be displayed in my toy room.
3) Scare Glow
Spooky skeleton, scary skeleton. Look at this guy! Just look.
Some MOTU fan I was/am though, I didn’t even know this guy existed until a few years ago, and to that I say, what was wrong with me? How did this guy slip past my radar?
A living, breathing skeleton that dare I say is cooler looking than my boy Skeletor? Yup! Badass cape, glows in the dark, Scare Glow checks all the boxes to vault him all the way to my number three spot, and he would’ve ranked higher if not for my locked and loaded never going to change top two.
2) Trap Jaw
Everything I just said about Scare Glow multiply it ten fold for Trap Jaw, except for that pesky having never heard of him as a kid. I knew good and well who Trap Jaw was.
From the mechanical robot arm to his terrifying visage, to what looks like some kind of heavy metal doom pirate weightlifting belt. While I can go on quite a bit about color and paint, it’s hard to keep quiet about something that looks as diabolically gorgeous as Trap Jaw. Is it possible to swoon over a toy? Toy Wizards readers, I’m sure you’d agree with a resounding yes.
Trap Jaw has to be in my collection. Trap Jaw needs to be in my collection, and Trap Jaw will be in my collection, sooner rather than later and is as close to perfect as can be for my sensibilities, except for numero uno on this list…
I had Skeletor. I had Beastman. But, Merman. Oh, Merman.
One of the few core figures I missed out on. The cream of the crop for me. I loved everything about this guy, and I continue to love everything about this guy. As far as grail items are concerned, Merman is as close to the top as you can get.
That Creature from the Black Lagoon inspired visage and sculpt to the paint application mixed with his armor and scaled sword. That expression on his face. Merman is perfect, and I need to jump in the car right now and begin the hunt for each and every one of the toys on this list, before Skeletor calls me a royal boob.