Robots are amazing and the world would be better off if they just kind of existed everywhere. However, this universe is weak, the night is dark and full of terrors, and people aren’t ready for the majesty and thunder of of robot infiltration.
One day, my darlings. One day.
But in the meantime, there are special robot friends hiding among us. Robots that try to blend with their licensed contemporaries, and robots where we didn’t know there should be one. So today on Toy Wizards, we’re checking out six awesome (if not secretly hidden) robot toys.
6) Adventure Force Astrobot
This fun little gem lives on a Walmart shelf near you. For $14.88, this little robot companion can be yours. The best part about this guy is that he hangs out on the same aisle as the Transformers, Voltron, and Megazords figures. That’s a bold task, yet he does it with a smile, not letting you know he’s RC Cola on a shelf filled with Coca Cola.
The description on the Walmart site is the best: This unique and interactive toy is perfect for kids who are interested in mechanics and robots and is sure to ignite hours of valuable imaginative play while also easily mixing with any and all of your child’s existing toys.
Translation: ‘Hey…it’s not a Transformer…but you know what? Your kid might not know the difference yet.
5) Disney Character Chogokin
Japan is the best, and this 2013 Classic Disney Character Mecha proves it. In this original collaboration between Tamashii Nations and Disney, classic Disney characters are portrayed as unique transforming and combining “Gattai” robot. True to the Chogokin brand Cho Gattai King Robo Mickey and Friends features die cast and high-precision combination and articulation. The seven individual transforming and combining robot characters include Jet Mickey, Sky Minnie, Diver Donald, Aqua Daisy, Land Goofy, Dash Pluto and Kennel and Ace Willie. Combine all characters together to form the massive King Robot.
King. Freakin’. Robot.
4) Bootleg Thomas and Friends Train Mecha
All right– I know I said Japan was the greatest country ever, but I might need to change my mind for this radical Thomas and Friends combining train mecha. This beauty is the thing of fan fictions and fan art. It’s the blood in the machine. The oil in my heart. My next grail item in a world of robots.
But really, this should just be the last episode of the series. Whenever Mattel and HIT Entertainment decide that this cheeky little train is no longer profitable, turn him into a giant mecha and have him just walk off the Island of Sodor. Then have him blast off into space and high-five Voltron and Gatchaman on the way up. I don’t even care how this is going to work, it just needs to happen to stitch the threads of internet coolness back together and make the world righteous again.
3) Doremon and Friends Giant Robot
While another officially licensed Japanese product, this Doremon and Friends giant robot isn’t something you expect to see every day. From Tamashii Nations comes a curiously spectacular collaboration to commemorate the double anniversary of Chogokin (40th Anniversary) and Japanese manga artist Fujiko.F.Fujio. (80th Anniversary). In this original collaboration, classic Fujiko.F.Fujio characters such as Doraemon are portrayed as unique transforming and combining “Gattai” robot. True to the Chogokin brand, Cho Gattai SF Robot Fujiko.F.Fujio Characters features die-cast and high-precision combination and articulation. The seven individually transforming and combining robot characters include Doraemon Robot, Parman Robot, Gonsuke Robot, Korosuke Robot, Dorami Robot and Chinpui Robot.
2) Loco Squad Mecha
You know what you don’t expect to see when you take your kids to Travel Town for an afternoon of choo-choo-train fun?
A glorious giant robot hiding in the gift shop!
Coming to you direct from who in the world knows where, this combing robot is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in the last three minutes. Now I know it exists and I will stop at nothing until I procure one. It’s a little bit of a trick of the eyes, because it caused me to think, ‘Hmmm…how can those three trains, which don’t look all that big, combine into that sweet, sweet robot known as the Loco Commander?’
Say it out loud with me and really taste those words in your mouth.
Loco Commander. It has the effervescence on your tongue the same as a sip of Peppermint Schnapps. I love it and I no longer want to exist in a world without it. Truthfully, there isn’t much information out there on this item. Presumably, it’s a strange Chinese toy that pops up in railroad gift shops. One website excitedly touted that while it is manufactured by a well known bootleg company, the toy in fact is not a bootleg. Well no, it’s not. But it’s still the Cheetah Men of transforming robot toys even if it’s not based off a preexisting franchise!
1) Toy Story Chogokin
And in a world of unexpected robots, this sucker is the prettiest of them all. Because really, and I take it back from the bootleg Thomas and Friends entry above…
This is how the Toy Story franchise should end.
First and foremost, I love the way this thing looks. It’s so random and bulky that it makes me smile. But I promise, we can make this canon! Okay, imagine it– Sid, now a custom action figure designer, sells an idea to a toy manufacturer with evil intentions that wants to use his shell to stuff evil ghost monsters in there to take over the world. Andy, now an adult, is a leader in the rebel alliance that is out to save the toys from becoming enslaved by this corporation. And he goes to his old friends, Woody, Buzz, Jessie, and company for one final adventure.
Toy Story Zord Sequence has been initiated.
Toy Story Activated.