Here at Toy Wizards, we show off and discuss a lot of amazing toys. But sometimes you take a walk through the toy aisle and the “Yummmmm” turns to “Ewwww”. And thus, that’s what happened to us yesterday at Walmart. Join us as we countdown the top 5 most terrible toys we saw at Walmart…this week.
5) Boxy Girls Dolls
These dolls in and of themselves are pretty reasonable looking. That said, I can’t image how this pitch meeting went. Which came first, the YouTube show, or the toy line?
“All right, picture it. It’s a world of dolls that are like Bratz with Betty Boop heads. The hook? CARDBOARD BOXES!”
::confused face emoji::
4) Puppy Surprise / Unicorn Surprise
These dolls were garbage in the 90s and they’re trash today. A precursor to the blind box, the point of these stuffed animals is to tear unborn babies out of a gash in a stuffed animal’s stomach. I understand kids like babies and extra small toys, but I just hate these. Back in the day, the Kitty was the most popular. But today? Hashtag, unicorn trend.
3) Casual Disney Princesses
I don’t think there’s a problem with this toy line. I think there’s a problem with Snow White’s face. I understand these casual Disney Princess dolls are inspired by the newer Wreck It Ralph sequel, but all I’m seeing on Snow White’s face is that old meme about something going where that is most certainly not Toy Wizards appropriate.
You guys know what I’m talking about.
2) My Sweet Love Mini Baby
I’m seeing way more here than I was ready for.
I can’t stand that monkey’s face. These are the Cheetah Men of bargain toys. Somewhere out there, someone has a binder filled with lore about these toys. They’ve developed a world they are convinced will become a comic book, a cartoon, hoards of merchandise, a feature length film, and games galore, all revolving around the Stretchimals. Somewhere in Iowa, a tiny hopeful group of creatives are convinced these creatures will unlock riches and fame beyond their wildest dreams.
I’d rather keep waiting for Uno: The Movie.