Toys R Us Comes Strutting Out of the Shadows Touting a New Retail Partnership…Again

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This saga is becoming more intense than the relationship partner swapping from Beverly Hills 90210.

Or as other collectors in the toy world have quipped: “Is Toys R Us trying to get a record for most number of bankruptcies in a company?”

Yesterday via social media, the former toy giant pumped its stoke by announcing to fans and followers that it is in fact in a new relationship— with Macy’s.

At last! Melissa and Doug can loosen the hold on the knife at Toys R Us’ throat. I swear, this is playing out like a V.C. Andrews novel. TRU was the child of rich parents, trained to be elegant and perfect. Alas, in a fall from grace, TRU vanished. Disappointed, Melissa and Doug dragged the shadowed skin of its previously favorite child around, setting up false pop ups for a place to house its boutique wooden tchotchkes.

No, I don’t think Melissa and Doug holds stake in TRU, but man– you wouldn’t know it with all of these “partnerships”.

First we had the TRU x Kroger holiday partnership which dissolved unceremoniously. After that, TRU and Target attempted their team up on Target’s website. At first it seemed an advantageous pairing, until Target realized something very important as it dragged around the corpse of its former competitor.

“I…don’t…need you.” ::Target glares down as Geoffrey dangles from a cliff. With a grimace and sneer, Target stomps on TRU’s fingers, causing Geoffrey to tumble down the ledge in a moment that only rivals McCauley Culkin’s demise in The Good Son::

When I was a kid, I remember a huge video game presence and Disney Store style set up at Sears. Something about this TRU x Macy’s partnership reminds me of that. All snark aside, there might be opportunity here for a neat toy set up at Macy’s– except for the fact that manufacturers will probably never let that happen. I can say with confidence that Hasbro, Mattel, JAKKS, and LEGO will provide TRU with minimal product. They were burned so hard by the 2017 Toys R Us collapse that there is, at this point, no incentive to provide this mascot filled with pretty words and false promises any credit or product to fulfill their vanity dream project with Macy’s.

I predict it now– if this partnership comes to TRUition (yeah, you like that, right?) and we see any sort of branded/notable TRU corner or kiosk in Macy’s, it will be boutique baby trash. That’s all it will be forever. Even if we see a few budget line Star Wars figures from Hasbro or something, the days of TRU toy hunting are over. It will be a small, limited, curated collection of junk where the stock is tiny.

I sincerely hope I’m wrong and people can add Macy’s onto their toy hunting map. Like you hit Walmart, Target, Barnes and Noble, Walgreens, and then BAM– that figure you’re after is at Macy’s by chance. Wouldn’t that be lovely? But from what history has shown us, that will never be. TRU strutting out with its pretty jewelry and date underpants on is nothing more than a countdown to another collapse once the glamour wears off and Macy’s realizes it’s dating a psycho.

But at least it makes for excellent toy drama.

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