I feel so giddy and filled with glee– this game is a bootleg with bootleg sprinkles on top.

Allow me to explain.

Kids of the 90s might remember the “Travel Version” of games craze. In a world when Mad Libs and the License Plate Game just didn’t cut it anymore (that’s all you, 70s babies) but our handheld Game Boy and Sega Game Gear systems just didn’t hold a charge long enough (jealous of you, GBA/DS kids!) we had a section in the toy store dedicated to shrunken versions of full-sized board games. Among the most memorable of these (for me, remember, I always speak for myself), was Crocodile Dentist. 

In the full sized version of this game, you’d yank out the Crocodile’s teeth with some game-provided pliers. The gimmick was that he was battery powered, circled the board, and was more than ready to chomp down your finger! So, for the smaller travel sized version of the game, you didn’t pull anything out (and risk losing pieces), but you’d press down on the teeth one by one until you Minesweeper’ed that crap. Meaning, hit the wrong tooth, mouth goes chomp. It was fun!

And apparently, extremely bootlegged! And today, I found the Grand High Witch of all Crocodile Dentist bootlegs. Are you ready? It’s BOOTLEG GODZILLA DINOSAUR DENTIST!

I don’t typically buy bootlegs, but I bought a bootleg today. I’m weak without resolve, I use my own product, and I’m a sucker for awesome stuff. And when I receive this son of a bitch, I’m going to review it so hard. As if the Kaiju Chomp wasn’t enough for my delight, the box and blissfully broken English descriptions are a flavor of perfection I didn’t know could be blessed to me. I need this. You need this. We will play together when I video review it at the end of the week.

You can purchase the “Totally Not Godzilla Dinosaur Dentist Game” for $13.58 from Amazon today.

Official Description from Amazon:

DON’T BATTERY. THIS TOY’S FUN IS QUIT LASTING.

• Kids could play as a dentist to check the Dinosaur’s teeth，or play game with it as the one who gets bitten lose the game.
• Adults could also play with it when drawing lots to decide something. Or even placing this cute Dinosaur right on your desk or behind your car’s front windshield could be fun.
• Every time you open the Dinosaur’s mouth a random tooth will become switch of its mouth.As long as you push that tooth, Dinosaur’s mouth would be close.It’s time to see how lucky you are
• Product specifications: Dinosaur dentist includes 1 very ornery Dinosaur who does not require batteries or assembly, contains no loose parts
• Note: The real color of the item may be slightly different from the pictures shown on website caused by many factors such as brightness of your monitor and light brightness.

How to play?

The dinosaur has 13 teeth on its lower jaw. Push up its upper jaw, its mouth will stay open. Press down on one random tooth, the tooth will stay down and the mouth will stay open if the tooth is not the one that would switch on the biting down. Players could press the teeth one by one until the upper jaw bites down. Push up the upper jaw again, randomly ,one of the 13 teeth will be on the switch. It is ready to start a new game.

Exhilarating and Thrilling !

Due to the unexpectedness of biting down and the funny looks of dinosaur, the toy is always exhilarating and thrilling to play with, and kids always love it. And as that when the dinosaur’s  mouth is reopened and it is ready to bite down unexpectedly again, this toy’s fun is quit lasting.

 

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