7 Chinese Toys That Are Guaranteed To Be a Bad Time


It may seem cruel to have a good laugh at overseas toys and bootlegs. Sure, at the end of the day people are just trying to make a living in this wild, wild world. I’ve personally been fooled by some bootleg toys that really pass for licensed. Hell, go to half of those anime lifestyle stores in the mall and they’re selling fake Bandai and FiguArts. Though often, bootlegs are easy to spot.

So for today’s comedy adventure, we are going to look at some toys that were sent directly to the Toy Wizards inbox in hopes that we would purchase them at wholesale. Not today, my friends. Not today.

But at least we can have a fun SNARKTICLE out of these delights, right?!

Somewhere between this photo being taken and getting locked in a Dream House box, Mynney (that’s the progressive spelling) managed to grow a set of teeth, look a something over yonder, and point her frighteningly human claws over in a direction that I want nothing to do with.

Cake and Syrup playset. That poor doll looks like she’s been waiting a long time for anyone to show up to her sticky party.

My. Horse. Little.

You know, this bootleg set isn’t completely out of canon. I can only recall one single episode of My Little Ponies from the 80s and it was about an ice cream parlor getting shut down because the town’s ice cream troll and the town’s toppings troll were fighting over a secret recipe that was dropped in the mixer.

Induction. Music. Light. And one terrified looking blonde girl.

I want every “Back to Jurassic Dinosaur” set that I can get my hands one. What is going on with the GAT MACHINE in the upper left?! And the guy in the Jeep looking up at that snarling monster about to nip him in the junk? It’s what toy dreams are made of.

Nothing says fun like bootleg Duplos. But what makes this set so delightful is the obvious hints of murder by including only a cheetah and a zebra. I can already here “Dual of the Fates” cuing up.

TYRANT DRAGON! Do as he commands or he is going to tax you, make you do chores, and deny your healthcare!


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